November 12, 2018

Dear Diary,

I’m about to be a mom! I mean like a mother! Someone’s number one go to…that’s so crazy to me.

I always knew I wanted children, even though I use to tell people I’m never having any (just so they would stop asking me, when am I going to have any – y’all know how that goes) & for the longest time I almost thought I just might not have kids because I’m a planner. For someone like me, I wanted certain things in order before I thought about kids.

Stability was my number one but after talking to my mother and getting a good reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned and that even when it does, you’ll always want more than what you have and planned for, for your children – I just decided to bite the bullet. Plus,  who wants to be an old mom?

My journey through pregnancy (besides the first 3-4 months) have been smooth sailing. I can’t even lie nor complain. This really is a beautiful experience. Your body changes so much for better and for worse but it’s all worth it – right? I went from feeling nauseous all the time & not being able to eat because food just turned me off, to eating everything and anything that’s put in front of me. That’s the part I’m going to miss the most. From dying to feel his first movements with them being so soft and subtle “ou’ing” and “awwwwing” every time I felt a butterfly – to dying for him to take it easy on me with his mortal combat moves. I wouldn’t trade any of it.

I’m so excited to meet him. I’m in the middle of ‘I can’t wait’ and ‘take your time’…no rush little one.

His father and I are ecstatic, couldn’t be happier, couldn’t be more excited. We love him so much already. I got 5 weeks left so I’ll definitely keep updated – my whole life’s about to change, (I’m lowkey sweating) but we got this. Also beyond thankful to not be in this alone – I thank God that my husbae has been such a great support & he better keep it going when the baby actually arrives…

-Kadesha

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