October 9, 2017

Dear Diary,

Lately some things have been on my mind regarding my body image and the way I view myself in the mirror everyday. Years ago, I was in a relationship that had me feeling bad about my body image. I was with a man who would only praise “thick” women and that was beyond me; we would argue continuously about my size and how much he felt that I needed some more “meat” on my body. I find us women do anything we can to please the men in our lives that we care about, and they may do nothing to please us in return. 

In today’s society, body image is something that is very important as there are women who get surgery and altercations to their natural bodies (and this is ok!) as long as it allows you to feel comfortable in your own skin. I find for me, as I am on the slimmer side, there are certain clothes I wish I filled in more and my previous toxic relationship didn’t help me with my views at all. He was someone that I truly saw myself being with and because of this I did certain things that I will not go into too much detail as of yet. I would lend him money, and please him in other ways just to make him happy so that he would actually want to be with me. I knew in my heart that I should have left…especially when a man gets comfortable expressing the flaws that you have and even some you may have not seen for yourself. When a serious man is in your life, you know that because he adds to your life in a better way, not by making it more miserable and hard than it already is or was. 

My advice moving forward is to do whatever an individual wants with their body; it is their canvas and if there is something you do not like that you feel you should change then change it (if you feel it would make you feel like a better person). 

But what about when dating men? 

Simple thing is to be with a man who will uplift you and make you a better person. If he cannot see the good in you then he probably isn’t for you. As for me? I’m much happier in my own skin without that man in my life and moving forward, a man that cannot accept me as I am, is a man that will not get my valuable time because there is someone out there who can appreciate me in my natural form…flaws and all.

-Samantha