November 24, 2017

Dear Diary, 

How do you know it’s real? You know, like for really real this time? This guy. He’s so different – yeah of course, the same as them all in a few ways, but I’ve never experienced a male like this…

In this manner, a man with staying power? Wait…and he’s a tall, dark, sexy & a black man at that. 

Hahaha b*tches…n*ggas ain’t shit huh? Well mine is…ouuuu.

Until he does something to ruin the moment, because as amazing as he may be – he is still just a man. But a man that stands by you, fuc–loves your brains out, tends to your physical, mental and emotional – is loyal and rather stay in…where’d you find that at? God. He can actually be the only answer for this one. Thank God I always believed in you; but if I didn’t, this man right here would make me. 

Did I mention how good the sex was? 

I see and hear people giving up on black love and I’ve even been there myself. Not necessarily giving up on black love specifically but at a point, just love in general…and in your most unexpected of moments or situations, you might just find yourself like me. Living, loving and learning everyday, more and more about love and it’s selflessness and compromises- despite the fact that I already thought I had all these wrapped up in a bow. 

Apparently not, but I’m open, ready, willing and in love. 

In love, I would say…it’s a word I should use loosely when referring to my past but I won’t. It may not have been THE love or real love but in that moment, that was what I associated my stupidity with – I’ve used this word before but it seems as if it always just gets better with the next one. 

For me, at least that’s what I tried to accomplish. 

Then and there, right after every breakup, & the tears were over with I brought it back and bossed up. 


Because after giving yourself to someone you have to give some of you back to yourself. Ya feel me? 

I’ve learned to use the past ‘loves’ as stepping stones to set boundaries to things I know I will not stand for and to open doors to things I enjoy in relationships. As I believe you should…plus I just knew it had to get better than this! 

They couldn’t all be f*boys…could they?


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